It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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