no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
