Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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