I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Randomize
