just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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