Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I have surprise drugs for everyone
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize