I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
