i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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