so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
