4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
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