Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
