But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
