There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize