It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
