I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
