and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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