Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
