I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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