I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
