I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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