At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize