ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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