So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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