i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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