Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Is her dick bigger than yours?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
