Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
you traded sex for a burrito?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
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