The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
only if we run a train.
done.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
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