well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
