he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Come share oat with me in your robe
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
