Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
