That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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