i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
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