You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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