saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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