he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
