it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
