You're completely useless in the revolution.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
