i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Help. Why am I so naked?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
