He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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