Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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