Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
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