FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
