Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
