So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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