Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
