he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize