You smell like a Billy Joel song
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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