I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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