We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
