phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Never let your siblings swipe right.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
