in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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