Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
smell my finger.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
