he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Randomize
