drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
