if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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