I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
