took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
