Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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