She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I think people are normalizing furries
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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