Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize