Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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