and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize