No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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