I look better un-naked...
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
