Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
The uberlube is also flammable
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Randomize
