Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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