I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
