yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
