separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
