You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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