My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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