when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
