LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I understand Curling. That high.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
