Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
