i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
