we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize