mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
