You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Randomize
