I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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